How to Boil Water, a gluten-free, grain-free, paleo-friendly, meatless Monday friendly, cane sugar-free, soy-free, peanut and nut tree-free, egg-free, dairy and casein-free, vegan, vegetarian, local and organic recipe.

by Irvin on April 1, 2014 · 146 comments

Looking for an easy, simple, fast recipe for how to boil water? Look not further than this step-by-step method!

How to Boil Water. Photo and Recipe by Irvin Lin of Eat the Love. www.eatthelove.com

I woke up this morning utterly parched with thirst. It was one of those cold mornings in San Francisco, gloomy and gray. Even though the blankets were wrapped around me, I was shivering and AJ had gone to work already. I laid there in bed, trying to figure out if there was any substance at all that could help quench my dry throat. Then it hit me, I knew exactly what I so desperately needed, what would warm me up like nothing else. I needed hot water to drink. But how do I boil water? It’s such a difficult thing to make at home! Or is it?!? (Jump directly to the recipe.)

The first thing I did was do my research. I grabbed my iPhone, next to my bed, and skipped Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and Pinterest and Google+ (ha! like anyone ever checks G+ on their phone) and launched my browser. I hit up America’s Test Kitchen, then Saveur and then Bon Appetit. But none of them seem to have a recipe for how to make boiling water at home. Then I visited my favorite popular food blogs: Simply Recipes, The Pioneer Woman, David Lebovitz, Gluten Free Girl. Nothing. I mean boiling water is naturally GLUTEN FREE Shauna! Get on that. Even the apparently misnamed Steamy Kitchen seemed to not have a recipe for boiling water. The site is called STEAMY KITCHEN! Boiling water produces steam…oh Jaden, how you missed a golden opportunity. Even when I broke down and checked Pinterest it disappointed me as there were NO moody dark underexposed photos of boiled water that I could find. PIN FAIL.

A moody photography of boiled water. Photo by Irvin Lin of Eat the Love. www.eatthelove.com

Clearly someone needed to show the internet how to boil water. So I got out bed, while still wearing my Faded Glory (a private label version of Fruit of Loom if you must know, because I’m not fancy) sleepy plaid flannel pants and nearly worn through oversized t-shirt that had a faded burger printed on it with a word bubble coming from it that had the words “I want to be inside you” lewdly hovering above it. I hauled myself into the kitchen and started to experiment with water and how to boil it.

After all, if I was going to go through all the trouble of figuring out how to boil water, I needed to make sure I created a recipe that was utterly foolproof. A recipe perfect for summer. And Winter. And Spring, and Fall (though really, San Francisco really has messed me up in terms of the seasons as we don’t really have them). I needed a recipe that is the best ever, utterly amazing and completely delicious. Most importantly, I needed a pin-worthy recipe. The DEFINITIVE recipe on how to boil water. And after 27 attempts, I think I nailed it. Let me know what you think. And ABSOLUTELY let me know if you have any problems with this recipe. Like all food bloggers, I totally LOVE it when I get comments telling me how the recipe doesn’t work…especially when the reader who tried it substituted different ingredients. Those are the best comments ever.

Mason jars filled with boiling water. Photo by Irvin Lin of Eat the Love. www.eathelove.com

Special thanks to Sabrina of The Tomato Tart for loaning me baker’s twine, as I do not own any and really didn’t want to buy any for this post. The stripey paper drinking straws are my own though. I stole a handful of those from a friend of mine’s wedding.

This has been a special April Fool’s edition of Eat the Love. I write this disclaimer because inevitably someone will believe that this is a legitimate recipe for how to boil water and try to correct me about the Maillard reaction listed above. To that person, I say… you are a fool. Good day.

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{ 146 comments… read them below or add one }

nossi @ the kosher gastronome April 1, 2014 at 6:56 am

Do you use a scale and thermometer for accuracy?
Also I don’t have a mason jar, any recommendations for an alternative??
Thanks!
by the way…awesome

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 7:44 pm

No need for a scale or thermometer. Just follow the instructions above EXACTLY and you shouldn’t have a problem!

But you should really get a mason jar. Not only are they inexpensive but they make everything look rustic adorable!

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Amy @Very Culinary April 1, 2014 at 7:24 am

Irvin, what if I’m out of water? Can I use a different liquid?

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Jenni April 1, 2014 at 2:56 pm

Ooh–following this comment thread…

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 7:43 pm

I wouldn’t recommend it. You might get an off taste or color with the end result. Stick with water…or if you can’t get water, ice from the freezer will work in a pinch.

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Christine from Cook the Story April 1, 2014 at 7:36 am

Oh! To think that I’ve been avoiding this for so long, simply because I thought it was too difficult. You’re a culinary genius!

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movita beaucoup April 1, 2014 at 7:51 am

I’m boiling water right now. Your instructions were super clear, and the photos were quite helpful. Thanks for posting!

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The Suzzzz April 1, 2014 at 8:02 am

I’ve been doing it wrong all these years…I feel like such a fool!

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Mandy April 1, 2014 at 8:11 am

Does the pot you use have to be clean? You didn’t say.

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 7:45 pm

Sorry! Yes the pot should be clean. Otherwise you might get an off flavor or color in the final product. Enjoy!

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Arthur in the Garden! April 1, 2014 at 8:40 am

;-) I forgot what today’s date is until I read this!

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Tessa @ Handle the Heat April 1, 2014 at 10:04 am

Oh my god Irvin you are TOO MUCH!!

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Allison Day April 1, 2014 at 11:19 am

Irvin, I tried this and it didn’t turn out quite right, and I’m not sure if it’s me or your recipe. I used vodka, since I prefer that to water, and I made this in the oven since my stovetop is currently out of order*. Now there’s smoke coming from my kitchen. Could you tell me what I’m doing wrong? ;)

*please don’t try this, anybody, as I didn’t actually do this and I’m pretty sure it would do bad things to your kitchen

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 7:46 pm

Um. Your asterisk warning is awesome. That is all.

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Pat Sayer Fusco April 1, 2014 at 12:49 pm

This is brilliant. You’re very sly.

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kellypea April 1, 2014 at 12:51 pm

OMG. I love your faucet. And do you shoot with natural light exclusively? Where can I get one of those spoons? They’re so cuuuuuuuutttteeee. April Fool, indeed. Loved this so very much! ps. Dang your stove is clean. :D

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 7:47 pm

I cleaned my stove for this post! It was due for a cleaning. ;)

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Sean April 1, 2014 at 12:58 pm

This is so great. However, I had less than optimal results. The water was cut off in my apartment, so I substituted extra-virgin olive oil. I was able to get it to boil, but then when I drank it, it caused severe blistering on my mouth and down my esophagus. It did, however, have a really satisfyingly rich water taste. Or, maybe it wasn’t the taste of water. I don’t know, because I will never taste anything again. Still, I’m thinking of making this for my next dinner party. Thanks!

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 7:50 pm

Well if you haven’t ruined my blind taste testing focus group with your cold I would sympathize with you but since you did, all I can say is that I hope you learned your lesson with trying to substitute ingredients. You should know better.

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Melissa @ Bless this Mess April 1, 2014 at 12:59 pm

SO funny! And I love the 5000 pictures on how to do it too. Totally made my day :)

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Melissa April 1, 2014 at 1:04 pm

I had to re-post, what I thought, was the key to this entire post: “But if you like a more concentrated water flavor, then by all means, don’t cover the pot.” — thank you!

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Michael April 1, 2014 at 1:13 pm

Sigh, leave it to you trendy hipster food blogger types to get all “fancysmancy” and over complicate such a simple and comforting dish like boiled water. I bet your pans come from William Sonoma or from the internet. Where I come from we make boiled water the classic way, the way that my mother taught me, and her mother would have taught her if she had been alive in the 1980′s and owned one. You don’t even need to plate the boiled water in a different container to serve, the way I make it, it truly is a one pot wonder. All you need is one mason type jar, or if you don’t live in a part of the world where mason jars are easily come by, a “cup” or “mug” works just was well (though the quality of the finished dish won’t be quite the same.” All you need to do is place your main ingredient, water into the vessel, place said vessel into a piece of kitchen kit called a “Micro-Wave” set the timer for 5 minutes or press the “boil water” button, and the little wizards that live inside of it will pass their magic wands repeatedly over the vessel and cast the boiling water spell (hence the name micro wave) and “voila” you have no muss, no fuss boiled water. No fancy pants pots, or stoves, just good old magic.

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 7:56 pm

What is this odd piece of equipment called The Micro-Wave? I’m afraid I don’t own any uni-tasking kitchen items as my countertops have limited space. Right now they are currently filled with my tabletop dehydrator, Sous-Vide supreme, coffee burr grinder, Vitamix blender,Gaggia TS Espresso machine and KitchenAid mixer. I mean, I barely have room for the whole grain mill! No, I’ll stick with the stovetop method above thanks very much.

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Michael April 2, 2014 at 5:52 am

Adopt me please, I want to play at your house! :)

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Kimberly Ann April 1, 2014 at 1:21 pm

I’m totally on a diet and counting calories so I substituted Coke Zero. WHAT A MESS! You really shouldn’t post recipes that result in a sticky epic FAIL. I’m never making a recipe from here again, but I’m too lazy to unsubscribe, so I’ll probably be back in a week to troll some more.

…off to pry the goo off of my brand new (likely RUINED) Mauviel copper pot.

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 7:59 pm

Perhaps next time try it with regular diet Coke, not Coke Zero. It might end up with a better result! Otherwise, I’m sorry to hear about your Mauviel copper pot. Good thing they have a lifetime warranty!

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Renee April 1, 2014 at 1:34 pm

And to think I’ve been doing small batches of boiling water all wrong by microwaving it. Thank you so much for this valuable tutorial.

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jane maynard April 1, 2014 at 1:58 pm

you claim that this recipe is local, but I only use Evian water, so you are a LIAR.

you know what is just plain crazy right now? I have a serious comment. someone once told me you should never fill your pot with hot water from the tap because the hot water picks up, I don’t know, stuff along the way in the pipes and isn’t as pure. which I think is totally bogus. but whenever I fill my pot with hot water I think about it and feel a little guilty about, you know, the stuff that the water just picked up in the pipes and I am now feeding to my family. I think we’re probably okay. we’re still alive, so there’s that. but then your recipe for boiling water told me to fill the pot with cold water and my worries have resurfaced. thanks so much. ;)

great post, irvin!

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 4:31 pm

Actually there’s truth to using cold water. Hot water can pick up impurities from the pipes as well as impurities from being held in the water heater. The New York Times actually wrote about it. And, as we all know, if it’s on the internet, it must be true.

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jane April 1, 2014 at 4:41 pm

look at that, this post is actually very informative! I learned something about boiling water.

I can’t believe the rumors are true. or at least NY Times Trues. So, okay, I will start using cold water!

:)

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 7:59 pm

All my posts are informative. Even the ones that don’t seem like they would be. ;)

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Jenni April 1, 2014 at 2:56 pm

Irvin, very detailed explanation of the Boiling Process. Thank you very much. Pinning. 54 times. I mean, my recipe *is* similar, but whatever. Your pictures are better. Plus: twine.

Also: I have a hydrogen allergy. Do you have any recommendations for a hydrogen-free substitute for water? I anxiously await your response.

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 8:02 pm

I’m so sorry, I don’t have any suggestions for a hydrogen-free water substitutions. But maybe if you switched to a completely raw vegan gluten free diet your hydrogen allergy will go away. Have you tried that?

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Jenni April 2, 2014 at 5:33 am

You are a genius! Thank you so, so, Soooooo much for answering my question!!

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Camilla @ Culinary Adventures April 1, 2014 at 2:56 pm

Very cute post, Irvin. Thanks for the giggles this afternoon.

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Kate @ Diethood April 1, 2014 at 3:16 pm

This is THE BEST post, ever. EVERRRR! I can’t stop laughing! Thank you!! :-D

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Cher April 1, 2014 at 3:55 pm

There must be something wrong with this recipe. I made this with milk and it totally just ruined my favorite All-Clad pan. Sheesh.

Fun post!

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 8:02 pm

I feel for you. I’ve tried it with milk and it just isn’t the same. I recommend sticking with water when making the recipe. Thanks for visiting!

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Vanessa April 1, 2014 at 4:02 pm

greatest. post. ever.

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Y April 1, 2014 at 4:33 pm

BRILLIANT

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Aimee @ Simple Bites April 1, 2014 at 4:34 pm

Great post! Looks tasty. Adding it to my menu plan for the week.

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Lohi April 1, 2014 at 4:35 pm

OMG! I cannot stop laughing! I am laugh-crying! Plus the comments! Too much! Happy April 1st!

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Diana April 1, 2014 at 4:47 pm

I got ICE. What did I do wrong? :(

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Lauren April 1, 2014 at 5:32 pm

This made me laugh out loud. I wish I had a snarky answer.

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 8:15 pm

I have no idea. (but this has to be one of the best comments!)

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Anita at Hungry Couple April 2, 2014 at 2:33 pm

Best comment ever! I laughed so hard I scared the hell out of the dog!

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Jenny Hartin April 1, 2014 at 5:09 pm

What if you have a fear of water…as soon as I get this house off of me I’ll get a suitable substitution and your little dog too.

Signed,
Wicked Witch

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 8:17 pm

Hahahahahaha! I’d suggest maybe finding a different recipe to attempt. ;)

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Belle April 1, 2014 at 5:16 pm

I’m from Australia, can you please convert this recipe for me?

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 8:21 pm

You should be able to follow the recipe exactly the stated method above without any changes in the end result. Just be forewarned that if you have left over boiling water and you discard it in the kitchen sink, the water might circle and drain in the opposite direction than it would here in the United States. Or that might just be a myth. I’m not sure.

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Lauren April 1, 2014 at 5:16 pm

Oh aren’t you smart? Maybe you could start posting regularly about topics that decimate your peers with your creativity and wit…or maybe you could get over yourself? Screw April Fools; this kind of satire comes from a real place and it’s especially funny/sad because you are them!

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 8:34 pm

Hi Lauren! I never said I was creative or witty but I’m so glad you thought I was! #Hugs!

That said, I ABSOLUTELY love people with a sense of humor, especially those who understand that a silly recipe posted on the internet, especially one that carries a disclaimer that it is a joke, can be written in such a way to make fun of not only their friends as well as themselves! After all, it’s CLEARLY obvious that when people write silly posts, they are making fun of themselves as much as anyone else and are fully aware of the fact.

Of course, I do think it’s really sad that there are so many people out there in the internet that have no sense of humor at all though. Don’t you? You’re right, they clearly need to get over themselves. Anyway thanks for stopping by!

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Tanya Schroeder April 1, 2014 at 5:19 pm

I followed the directions EXACTLY, but then I stepped away and by the time I returned to the pan the water was all gone!! Where did it go???

Awesome, awesome, awesome.

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 8:35 pm

Clearly you have a thief that is breaking into your home and stealing the boiling water that you have labored over. I would highly recommend getting an alarm system for your home, and possible installing video webcams to see if you can capture the thief in the act. Good luck!

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Elizabeth April 1, 2014 at 5:48 pm

This is so funny because I was just thinking how much I LOVE water! I try to source mine locally (not all the way from the town reservoir), but still, I can’t wait to try this! And thanks for the step by step pics –– I feel like I can go out and boil my own water with absolute confidence.

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 10:46 pm

Isn’t water the best? I love it!

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Stephie @ Eat Your Heart Out April 1, 2014 at 5:53 pm

This post wins all the prizes. I’m laughing so hard I’m crying.

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Sweet Neddy April 1, 2014 at 5:54 pm

Thank you so much for this fantastic tutorial. The pictures were really helpful, but I find following along with a video much easier – any chance you shot a video to go along this recipe?

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 8:36 pm

Sadly my video equipment is in the shop or I would. But thanks for the suggestion. Perhaps next time!

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DessertForTwo April 1, 2014 at 5:54 pm

So, I substituted orange juice for water, and the recipe total failed on me. geez, how hard can your job be? Please test your recipe before sharing it on the internet.

I love this. So much.

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 8:43 pm

I’m so sorry your substitution didn’t work! I had someone else ask me this exact same question on my Facebook page. I told her that would only work if you used Cara Cara Oranges, not Valencia, Navel or Moro Blood. I also warned her that the resulting boiling water will taste and look a little different. Best to stick with the regular cold tap water like the original recipe instructed if you really are craving hot boiling water.

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Shaina April 1, 2014 at 6:02 pm

Pinning! Thanks for making that top image so positively pinnable. What font did you use for “How to Boil Water?”

How do you get your boards to crackle like that? Are you buying that Martha Stewart paint I see at Home Depot? I never had good results with that. Your posts are always so inspirational, and the photos really evoke strong memories of boiling water in my grandma’s kitchen. Her’s was always the best. Thanks for the helpful tips!

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 8:03 pm

It’s my pleasure! I’m so glad my boiling water post reminded you of your grandma’s kitchen. She must have been really special to always hand make boiling water for you all the time…

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Kirsty April 1, 2014 at 6:05 pm

This reminds me of the water my grandmother used to boil for my special birthday treat when I was just a girl…. unfortunately, she passed away before I could get the recipe. I think she used a cast iron pot -but otherwise, your recipe sounds really close. I can’t wait to try it!

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 8:04 pm

If you make my recipe, please come back and let me know how my boiling water compares to your grandmother’s!

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Betty Ann @Mango_Queen April 1, 2014 at 6:07 pm

Cute, Irvin! Thanks for making us laugh today :-)

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Sweet Neddy April 1, 2014 at 6:12 pm

Oh no…. my post asking for a video is gone! Maybe someone can make video while making this recipe – I just find it easier when making something for the first time if I can watch someone else make it.

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 8:45 pm

So sorry my spam filter caught your first comment! As I said before, my video equipment is sadly in the shop… actually from water damage (how ironic I know). But maybe next time.

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Julie @ Willow Bird Baking April 1, 2014 at 6:24 pm

I tried to print this recipe and ended up printing ALL THE PHOTOS and it was 50 PAGES! I want to be reimbursed for my time and ink, please!! How do I print to my RSS feed? Or can I email this to my phone?

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 10:36 pm

Dear Julie,

I’m happy to send you a check for your time and ink. Please give me your social security number and your bank account number as well as your full name and I’ll be sure to wire you money immediately.

Sincerely,
A Nigerian Prince

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Birdie April 5, 2014 at 9:10 am

This reply made me laugh the most, believe it or not. Finally I know what the Nigerian Prince does when he’s not busy emailing people about money- he’s boiling water!

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Annalise @ Completely Delicious April 1, 2014 at 7:00 pm

Bravo! Well done, Irvin. Still giggling over here.

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Debi Bentley April 1, 2014 at 7:45 pm

Thank Heavens you have this written down!! I have been trying for years to come up with an actual recipe for this… My BFF burns water ALL the time!! Poor thing, I dedicated “Smoke Gets In Your Eyes” to her on her birthday one year.. I digress. I will print this out for her and frame it for her kitchen.. Again, THANK YOU!! (her family will thank you as well!)

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Lucy Miranda April 1, 2014 at 8:12 pm

Is this a joke? After all today is April fools day. There is no science in boiling water. Of course you need to used a clean pot. Preferable Stanley steel. Every cook and housewife knows this. The reason there is no instructions anywhere is because is such a simple procedure that is assumed that everyone knows how to do it.

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 10:37 pm
Sharon | Cheesy Penniesn April 1, 2014 at 8:15 pm

I use my crockpot for this. You can put the water in the night before, and then wake up in the morning and the whole house has that wonderful boiling water smell.

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 10:38 pm

That’s a brilliant idea! Of course I don’t have a crockpot myself but if you do have one, I would certainly suggest that. The overnight slow simmer of the water would really give the it an amazing smell and incredibly flavor I imagine!

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panfusine April 1, 2014 at 9:11 pm

Geez, This has GOT to be the best April Fools Recipe! & I thought I nailed it with a Paltrowesque GOOPy recipe for brewed tea.

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 10:41 pm

Aww thank you! What’s the link for the Paltrow-esque GOOP recipe? I’d love to consciously couple with it and read it.

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panfusine April 2, 2014 at 5:53 am

LOL, Here it is.. something to pair with Ms. Goop’s (Ig) Nobel worthy recipe for boiled Egg
http://dish-a-day-panfusine.blogspot.com/2014/04/day-91-tea.html

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Irvin April 2, 2014 at 4:26 pm

Oh it’s great! I like how you worked in the “consciously coupled” phrase…

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fatima April 1, 2014 at 9:38 pm

Please help!! I tried your recipe but the end result doesn’t look as good as yours. Do you think it’s because I used a non-stick pot??

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 10:43 pm

It’s possible. You just can’t get a nice a caramelized searing of the boiling water with a non-stick pot than with a regular pot, though the non-stick really is so much easier to clean up. I guess you sometimes have to compromise ease of use versus flavor. If you’re OK with the nonstick boiled water go for it. Otherwise maybe you should invest in a regular pot that doesn’t have the coating.

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Kirsten / ComfortablyDomestic April 1, 2014 at 10:02 pm

Would you mind asking Sabrina if she would consider a sort of library loan system for the baker’s twine? I’d like to try this recipe but I am sadly lacking in the twine department.

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Irvin April 1, 2014 at 10:48 pm

I have often thought that some food blogger out there should start a loaning library for props. Like a Netflix for plates, silverware and baker’s twine. It’ll make dozens of dollars! I’ll definitely ask Sabrina next time I see her if she wants to start that up and if she wouldn’t mind loaning you some twine. Because one can never have enough stripey twine.

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Suma Rowjee April 1, 2014 at 10:08 pm

You have no idea how much this recipe means to me! I have attempted this a million times , but my husband always complains that the water I boil doesn’t measure up to the water his mother boils. My mother-in-law refuses to part with her closely guarded secret recipe. Thanks to you, I have finally found THE recipe. You just saved my marriage! Thank you so very much, sniff, sniff!!

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Aparna April 1, 2014 at 10:11 pm

How can you blog a recipe for “absolutely gorgeous fun-to-drink super-fun-to-make cup of boiling water” and then claim that you’re “not responsible for any burns you may suffer from drinking boiling water”?
And I don’t know if you’re aware that a large part of the world does not drink water straight from the tap? Do you know most of them can’t get mason jars, baker’s twine or stripey straws either?
First you post an unsafe to make and drink beverage, and then you make a lot of us miserable because we can’t make it look gorgeous!
I’m sharing this on my Facebook page just so that people know your post for what it is! :D

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Dharm April 1, 2014 at 11:07 pm

I live near the equator and its very difficult to get cold water coming out of the tap. Would it be best to use water from the fridge for the best taste?

Loved the post! Simply brilliant!

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Faye April 1, 2014 at 11:29 pm

Does this recipe work at high altitudes? What if I don’t have a pot or water?

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Home Cleaning KT6 April 1, 2014 at 11:39 pm

Nice one :) You grab my attention :D

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Miss Kim @ behgopa April 2, 2014 at 2:13 am

Lol. In culinary school, they taught us that a boil is like big man farts in a pool (while a poach is baby kiddy farts, simmer is lady farts).

Hehe I thought I was the only blogger that humorously shared an April Fools’ post. My readers seemed to have fell for it though. With the limits of pranking through a blog, I guess it takes some creativity.

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Sj Dc April 2, 2014 at 3:03 am

You missed they’ll important buzzword – “CALORIE-FREE”!!!!!!!!

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Heather // girlichef April 2, 2014 at 3:31 am

How would you recommend that I store leftovers, and about how long will they keep? Added to my must-try list!

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Sia | Monsoon Spice April 2, 2014 at 4:17 am

I am doomed! Where do I find the mason jar, baker’s twine, ribbons, stripy straws, rustic background board, antique silver spoons/forks etc? I can NEVER be able to boil the water ever without them! I will never get to drink perfectly ‘pinnable’ boiled water!
~sob, sob ~

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Ant April 2, 2014 at 4:36 am

Thanks finally I am ready to take on the boiling water challenge, although I may have to tweak the recipe a bit (since I live in India and don’t have access to tap water that can be boiled without forming a layer of iron salts over it, which of course may alter the taste). Talking of concentrated flavour of water reminds me of this one trip to Germany where I was given a bottle of sparkling water by shopowners every time I asked for water, and then I had to tell them ‘normal water, ordinary water, etc). Only later realised that beer was cheaper so noone buys water there

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Barbara @ Barbara Bakes April 2, 2014 at 4:55 am

Thanks for the reminder to steal straws from a wedding for my next drink pictures. Also, I’m sure one of my friends must have some of that string I can borrow too. Great ideas!

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Kimberley Mulla April 2, 2014 at 5:36 am

Thank you so much for posting this! I’ve been looking for step by step instructions for my kids because I love teaching them to cook and now they can make their very own boiled water. You are amazing. And I ran out of uses for mason jars and twine. Bravo.

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Jenni April 2, 2014 at 5:42 am

I was so taken by this recipe when I read it yesterday that I had to try it last night!!!!!!!!!! I used my pressure cooker though. Keeping the steam in actually shoves extra water taste into your water, so it’s doubly watery. Just thought your readers might appreciate my tip.

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Irvin April 2, 2014 at 4:31 pm

That is such a great tip! I wish I had a pressure cooker because the double watery flavor is one of my favorites. I wonder if I can get Presto, Kuhn Rikon, or All-American to sponsor me for a post on pressure cooker boiled water….

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Trevor April 2, 2014 at 5:47 am

Well now thanks to you and that restaurant in Brooklyn selling artisan boiled water for $5 a pop everyone is now saying it: “boiled water is the next cupcake”. How ridiculous! Shoot me if I ever pay more than $3. My grandma used to boil water for everybody when we were kids during our summer visit. I was mesmerized watching her and I never minded the skin burns all that much. It was amazing to see how she could get through the whole process without ever once referring to the recipe.

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Irvin April 2, 2014 at 4:31 pm

I KNOW! Boiled water is SO overpriced. That’s why I decided to write this recipe for how to make it at home. Homemade is always so much better (and cheaper!).

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Aggie April 2, 2014 at 5:55 am

Seriously? How to boil water? Is this what food bloggers do all day? And get paid? What a sweet gig!

Oh and how many servings does this make?

You seriously made my morning. I love your spunk Irvin!! xo

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Cindysoo April 2, 2014 at 5:59 am

Ha! This reminds me of when Martha Stewart showed us how to make perfect ice cubes for April Fools :) Cute!

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Lisa Viger is Raw on $1o a Day April 2, 2014 at 7:01 am

OMG … dude, really??? I’m a raw foodist. I don’t drink BOILED water. That stuff is terrible for you!!

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Evelyne@cheapethniceatz April 2, 2014 at 7:12 am

Awesome and witty post, love it.

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Daniel Bourque April 2, 2014 at 7:52 am

I actually live in Canada, but not in BC. Can I still use my water for this recipe? If not, can you link to an Amazon store (with affiliate link) that has your brand of local water so I can try the same kind of water you use for optimal results?

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Irvin April 2, 2014 at 4:37 pm

Well my favorite water ever is Aqua Literz but sadly you can only buy it in full pallets so it’s seems a bit expensives ($1334.99 + $117.95 for shipping). But if you just get a group of friends together to split it, it’s not too bad!

[This comment is not sponsored by Aqua Literz. I was not monetarily compensated for this comment. All comments made by me are my own opinion and do no reflect the opinion of Aqua Literz. The link above is an affiliate link and I do make a minor percentage of whatever you buy from Amazon if you click through. Thank you for your time.]

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Patricia Shea April 2, 2014 at 7:58 am

Thanks for the giggle – masterfully achieved!

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Adri April 2, 2014 at 8:14 am

Do you find any variation in the final product if you use electricity, natural gas or propane as a heat source? Perhaps a side by side comparison is in order…

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Irvin April 2, 2014 at 4:39 pm

I am SO doing a focus group blind taste test for that! Though I’m certainly not inviting that shady Sean to it. He screwed up the last focus group blind taste test…

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DianeMargaret M April 2, 2014 at 8:56 am

I was SO eager to try your recipe, especially since I was lucky enough to have all the ingredients on hand!
No offense but, I found it to be rather tasteless. I mean, NO flavor at all !!!
Not to be put off from a good recipe, I tried it again today…with a few SLIGHT alterations.
I added some chicken (plus a smidge of bouillon powder), a couple handfuls of vegetables (carrots, celery, onions), and some assorted herbs/spices.
The result was SPECTACULAR!!! So lovely and full of flavor!!!

So, just a thought, in case I’m not the only one craving a little more flavor to their boiled water…never be afraid to experiment!!! ;)

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Irvin April 2, 2014 at 4:41 pm

You’re variation sounds wonderful! Though I have to admit, I’m a traditionalist. I like the classics. But next time I’m totally trying your version.

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Shikha @ Shikha la mode April 2, 2014 at 10:14 am

Hahahahaha this is an amazing April Fools post – I actually read this the entire way before being like, wait what. Love it!

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Lauren April 2, 2014 at 10:48 am

Since you show this in a mason jar, is it safe to assume that this recipe is suitable for canning?

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Irvin April 2, 2014 at 4:44 pm

Absolutely. But since boiled water is low acid, you’ll have to use a pressure canning method to preserve the goodness and keep it safe for future consumption. Please check out the pressure canning tutorials over at Punk Domestics if you are unfamiliar with it.

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Charul April 2, 2014 at 12:48 pm

One of the very few food blog I love to read. Its like chatting with a friend.

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Irvin April 2, 2014 at 4:45 pm

Thanks so much Charul. That’s one of the best compliments I’ve gotten for my blog!

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Sarah Caron (Sarah's Cucina Bella) April 2, 2014 at 12:54 pm

Beautiful pictures! You really make the whole process come alive. One suggestion though: For really spectacular boiled water, this is much better made in a brick oven. It gives it that smokiness that makes boiled water extra special.

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Irvin April 2, 2014 at 4:47 pm

I do love a smoky charred boiled water. But, honestly, my method above is great for every day use. Something about the smokiness of the brick oven that is awesome but I only can drink so much of it. With my traditional method above, I can drink gallons of boiling water and still crave more!

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Jennie Schacht April 2, 2014 at 1:33 pm

Hi Irvin,
Please forgive me because I was too lazy to read through all the comments and someone may already have asked my two questions and you may already have addressed them. Instead of pointing that out and making me search for them could you please rephrase if that’s the case? Please don’t just repeat what you said. You would lose my eternal respect of your exceptionally original writing style. (Wait, is that an oxymoron? Because if it’s original it can’t really be exceptionally so, can it? Oh, I just get so nervous writing to other writers. Am I an oxymoron? Or just a garden variety moron?)
Anyway, my questions:
#1: Your title suggests that this recipe is local and organic but my tap is not certified organic. I drove all around my 100-mile radius food shed but could not find any water that was certified organic. If I leave my food shed my parole officer will come after me. I mean…it will no longer be local. Can you suggest a source of local, certified organic water in my area? Or could you just bring me some?
#2: I had some problems with your recipe. As soon as I removed the saucepan from the heat the water immediately stopped boiling. It was just very hot water, but not the boiling water I was after. I tried checking the temp with my laser gun and sure enough, when you remove it from the heat it is no longer 100C or even 212F. When I tried to keep it at a boil on the stove all of the water disappeared. Can you tell me how I can prepare water that will remain at a boil without evaporating?
Thank you so much for this useful article. Once you help me with these two small issues I plan to make this practically every day!
Jennie

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Irvin April 2, 2014 at 4:58 pm

#1. Good point! It’s hard because I take for granted living here in the San Francisco bay area that organic water is so easy to source. If you really want local and organic water, perhaps you should consider digging and creating a well in your backyard. The website Drill Your Own Well has plenty of tutorials and resources on how to make your own well, so you can source your own local and organic water! So easy and satisfying.

#2. This going to sound like an unorthodox method, but if you want boiling water in your mason jar glass without it cooling off by removing it from the heat source, my suggestion is to use a large pot with a heatproof rack inserted and placed at the bottom. Fill the pot with water and place a clean glass mason jar right side up on the rack. Then turn the heat of the stove on and bring the water (with the mason jar inside it) to a boil. When the water is boiling, carefully reach into the pot with a canning jar lifter and remove the mason jar filled with boiling water. Since the jar itself is at the same temperature as the boiling water there shouldn’t be much loss of heat, at least not for a minute or two.

Enjoy!

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Jennie Schacht April 2, 2014 at 11:32 pm

Hey Irvin. So kind of you to reply.

#1: I live in the East Bay, dammit–we have no water to drill for. (Well, there was a bit earlier this week but my plants drank it all. Raw and unboiled! Just like that!)

#2: Thank you for your outstanding solution to the boiling-water-in-a-jar dilemma! Dare I ask…wouldn’t it be easier to put the jar of water in the microwave? Or is that just stooping too low?

PS: I got creative and flavored my boiled water with camellia sinensis (http://www.kew.org/science-conservation/plants-fungi/camellia-sinensis-tea). It was really tasty but now I can’t sleep and feel oddly compelled to leave comments on blog posts.

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Jacque Herron April 2, 2014 at 2:42 pm

I’m so happy I saw your blog (Thanks Comfortably Domestic and Simply Recipes), I had no clue what to prepare for dinner tonight, and this will be perfect. Thanks!

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Irvin April 2, 2014 at 4:59 pm

Comfortably Domestic and Simply Recipes have so many great recipes, but I’m thrilled that you came here and will be making mine for dinner tonight! Enjoy.

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Rose April 2, 2014 at 3:33 pm

I am so glad I found this! Finally! A gluten-free, grain-free, paleo-friendly, meatless Monday friendly, cane sugar-free, soy-free, peanut and nut tree-free, egg-free, dairy and casein-free, vegan, vegetarian, local and organic recipe the whole family can enjoy together!! Now I don’t need to make tweleve-teen different meals to meet everyone’s nutritional needs. You are a complete lifesaver!

And – you have no idea how much I needed a good laugh. Thank you!

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Phyllis @ Oracibo April 2, 2014 at 6:56 pm

Thank you so much…one of the funniest things I have read in such a long time…

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Britt April 2, 2014 at 7:17 pm

This post and the comments have made my day so much so that I read it to my husband, and I plan to use it to help teach my English classes how to do instructional writing. GENIUS!

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Redawna April 2, 2014 at 9:13 pm

I’m no professional but I’m pretty sure you won the Internet.

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Sweet as Sugar Cookies April 2, 2014 at 11:42 pm

I’m sure that if you had looked in Pippa Middleton’s book, “Celebrate,” you probably would have found exactly the recipe you were looking for on how to boil water. Loved reading your post btw.

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Amy April 3, 2014 at 7:02 am

Can I use this same technique to create boiled water for things like my favorite instant gourmet hot chocolate? Or ramen noodles? Or is there another technique that needs to be followed? And you mentioned that cold water is the best. What about frozen water, otherwise known as ice. What if I fill a pot up with cold water, then freeze it, then proceed with your boiling technique by walking the frozen pot of cold water to the stove top? Will that work? Will it be even a better flavored boiled water? Do you even know these things? Are you even a food blogger? Or are you just pretending to be a food blogger? I thought all food bloggers had their own twine? You said that you had to “borrow” it from a friend? Really?

(I love you, Irvin.)

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Heather @ Kiss My Broccoli April 3, 2014 at 11:04 am

Omg, I’m dying…DY-ING!! I bow down to you oh queen of sarcasm!! Also, I want that t-shirt! ;)

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zwerg April 3, 2014 at 11:41 am

if I would have running water right now, I would definitely try this recipe :))

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Laura @ My Friend's Bakery April 3, 2014 at 12:02 pm

That’s the funniest thing I’ve read all week! Good for you!

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TidyMom April 4, 2014 at 6:37 am

how long will it keep? lol

love it Irvin!! it was great seeing you last week! Allison and I are still dreaming about that ice cream!

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Shawn @ I Wash You Dry April 4, 2014 at 5:03 pm

This is just brilliant! You’re a culinary hero to us all.

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Brian @ A Thought For Food April 4, 2014 at 8:53 pm

Do you have a certain kind of water you recommend?

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Laura (Blogging Over Thyme) April 5, 2014 at 8:15 pm

I’m a little late, but this is hilarious!! I’ve loved every April Fool’s recipe joke that I’ve seen this year, but you really, really got into this one. Especially with the step by steps! Too funny.

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Marie April 6, 2014 at 11:13 am

Note: Cold water has more incorporated air. Hot water is “flat” due to the air drifting out in the hot water tank during heating. In a pinch, if you make this recipe beginning with hot water, you can restore the brightness (opposite of flat) by whisking in a little air just before drinking.

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jodi July 7, 2014 at 1:09 pm

Oh my goodness, this post made me so happy. The twine. The jars. The superfluous herbs and especially the straw. This made me downright giddy. LOL. Thank you!

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The Water Is Smiling July 16, 2014 at 8:09 am

Hi Irvin,
While your post is indeed very thorough and the recipe complete, You missed something in your research because a college gal posted How To Boil Water in 2013 on The Collegiate Cooker.
http://thecollegiatecooker.com/?s=how+to+boil+water&submit=Search
I hope she doesn’t sue you for stealing her recipe! :)

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Marisa Franca @ All Our Way July 16, 2014 at 8:20 am

Have they called you yet begging you to write a cookbook with the main ingredient- water? If not — I would like to nominate you.

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Georgia Leaker July 20, 2014 at 11:55 pm

I wonder if you might have saved time by just using an eletric kettle? Boiling water in less than half the time!

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Lisa (@lybliss) July 21, 2014 at 1:16 am

Irvin, you are now officially my food guru. Love your work x

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Deepa @onesmallpot July 22, 2014 at 5:11 am

Omg what a novel method! And water is FINALLY coming into season here in Australia which is great as I’ve been DYING to try this recipe!
Thank you SO MUCH!

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Christine @ Taste of Divine July 22, 2014 at 3:47 pm

I don’t use water out of the faucet because our ancestors would never have drank that kind of water. Can I substitute river water instead?

This recipe looks delicious by the way, and your yummy pictures are literally making my mouth water!

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Kylie July 22, 2014 at 10:57 pm

Boiling water all well and good… but cameras??? Nikon? Canon? Olympus? No one would be able to boil water like you have with out photoshop actions!!! Which ones???

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