Black Forest Chocolate Crinkle Cookies that are obscenely good (and gluten free)

by Irvin on January 30, 2012 · 12 comments

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Black Forest Chocolate Crinkle Cookies

I was taken aback, while mingling at my annual holiday party in December, when my friend Matthew accosted me and pointed out a cookie that I had made for the festivities. It wasn’t the fact that a friend of mine liked my baked goods (this happens on occasion). Nor was it the fact that he was so vehemently excited about the cookie (I’ve experienced superlatives often, after all, a great number of my friends are food bloggers nowadays). It was the WAY he said it to me. “What are those cookies?!?” he exclaimed, pointing to a small round cookie encrusted with snow white powdered sugar and cracked all over exposing rivers of deep dark-as-midnight chocolate dough underneath. I looked at him, charmed by his enthusiam and told him they were my Black Forest Chocolate Crinkle Cookies and that they happen to be gluten free. His reply, eyes wider than I have ever seen them before, was the simple sentence “They are SEX. IN. MY. MOUTH.”

Now things got a little awkward after that declaration. After all, his boyfriend was standing next to him, and I really didn’t want to go down that road mentally, so I just smiled, said thank you and tried to excuse myself, but Matthew would have none of it. He repeated to me the statement “SEX. IN. MY. MOUTH.” at least twice more before I was able to escape the conversation, whimsically amused and slightly horrified at the description of my cookie. I certainly didn’t mean to create a cookie that could possible reproduce any carnal relations he might have with his significant other. Though, I have to admit, I thought the cookies I had baked were not bad.


Our party was insanely crowded. I haven't a clue how we squeezed that many people into our tiny place.

Matthew is not a food blogger – despite his disposition to talk in superlatives. “It is the BEST. EVER.” “No, you don’t understand. It’s PERFECT.” “It’s AMAZING. SO. AMAZING.” All of those phrases have come out of his mouth, and I love him all the more for being willing to commit to the absolute 100% positive praise of something. Me, I can rarely, if ever talk about something as being perfect, amazing or the best. I’ve been asked to judge a few contests here and there, and I almost never give the top score to any of the entries. When I fill out those surveys that ask me to rate my experience I never say I am completely satisfied or dissatisfied, after all, things could be worse, or they could be better. Nothing is PERFECT in my eyes, nearly everything is always room for a little more improvement. Perhaps it’s the way I was raised, the ideal always slightly out of reach. This allows me to constantly be striving for something more, a smidgeon better, a touch higher. Praise, coming from me, is often in the form of “Huh. It’s not bad.” not “It’s the best ever.” which I find all too frequently in the food blogosphere.


A small selection of some of the treats I made for the party.

But I won’t quibble with those food bloggers who want to talk about how their fresh mint lemonade is the perfect summertime drink or how their chocolate chip cookie is the best ever. I know that, on occasion, I probably have done the same thing in posts. It’s an easy crutch to fall back on. But I rarely cross certain lines and there I was, talking to a non-food blogger, a friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in a few years, and he had crossed that line. I doubled back and decided to grab one of my Black Forest Chocolate Crinkle Cookie and see if what he said was true. One bite, and I knew it. Matthew…had it wrong.


The obscenely good cookies.

The cookie is nothing like sex in my mouth. True, a single bite of the cookie and I was suddenly reminded of the first time I took a bite of black forest cake. The whoosh of memories, like in Ratatouille, hazy in it’s history, me as a child, sitting down and being served a slice of sexy soft dark chocolate cake, covered in light-as-air slightly sweetened whipped cream, crumbly bittersweet chocolate shavings that melted at the touch of my tongue and boozy impossibly obscenely red cherries that dotted the top of the cake. This cookie, with it’s soft bittersweet chocolate interior and sweet crunchy exterior, followed by the bits of dried moist tart cherries found on the inside, transported me away from my crazy Christmas party, and for an instance, I was that child again, experiencing a beautiful cake for the first time. This cookie, the one that Matthew exclaimed was SEX. IN. MY. MOUTH. It was pretty good – maybe a step up from not bad. That’s as high praise as I’m going to give it. But that’s just me. Ask my friend Matthew and maybe you’ll get a different choice of words.


My pretty good, slightly better than not bad, cookies.

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Ileana January 30, 2012 at 9:16 am

These make me think of Christmas 🙂


Deanna B January 30, 2012 at 9:47 am

I will never understand why people think “sex in my mouth” is a good description. I really need to get past my fruit and chocolate issues so I can make these.


Felisa Yang January 30, 2012 at 2:37 pm

The nothing-is-ever-perfect thing? It’s because you’re Asian. 🙂


Felisa Yang January 30, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Forgot to add: “A? Why not A+?”


Michelle January 31, 2012 at 3:00 pm

I just wanted to let you know that I think you write beautifully! You really bring your food to life, and have ignited a spark in me to get my own blog going. Guess that means I’ll be cooking, baking and eating more myself. Thank you!


Irvin February 1, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Michelle, thank you so much. That has to be one of the best compliments I’ve ever received. You made my day!


Adrian February 1, 2012 at 6:43 am

These cookies look pretty damn good Irvin! I’ll have to ask Elizabeth to add these to her list of things to make 🙂


Amy February 1, 2012 at 2:54 pm

What a brilliant blog post. You have a wonderful way with words…. and you’re funny.


Anna and Liz Recipes February 1, 2012 at 5:17 pm

You are very funny! And , I love your recipes and these cookies have to be AMAZING or ” sex in the mouth ” treat (LOL….) anyway , we love your innovative desserts – they are so interesting so keep them coming! 🙂 Anna


Lokness February 3, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Hmmm… These look soo good… I love black forest cake. I bet these are delicious too! I can’t wait to try them out.
By the way, amazing blog and recipes!


Peruvian recipes February 8, 2012 at 9:13 am

Oh wow, these do look obscenely good! I have a cookie business in Peru, and have mastered several mouth watering cookie recipes, but I’ve got to say, these ones look to die for! Will definitely try them. Thanks!


merri March 9, 2012 at 3:59 pm

hey! i see me in that photo! 🙂


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